


Aim to Me

by winehwan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Doyoung and taeil are mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Na Jaemin is a Softie, Nomin are roomies, Sharing a Bed, as usual, but honestly is this angst, cuz everyone loves platonic!renle amirite 乁(ᴗ ͜ʖ ᴗ)ㄏ, everyone's soft in this good korean household, except for a select few, i'm not sure, imma tag it just in case, jaemin acts like a thug but is actually soft, just in case youre not into that, should i tag them, t for swearing once again, take the renle as whatever you want, they dont talk so nah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 09:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15264114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winehwan/pseuds/winehwan
Summary: "Jeno's got a girlfriend. Can't say I like her very much.""Why?""I just don't.""I know." Jisung nods."You know?""I know."Jaemin can't tell what Jisung knows. He decides to stay silent.





	Aim to Me

**Author's Note:**

> i know i've only got like one (1) other fic on here and it probably looks like i'm really noncommittal but you know what u rite and i'm sorry so if you're a fan of word vomit then here take this ily

"Jeno," The honey-brown haired boy mutters. Jeno lifts his head from his previous position (read: buried in his textbook) as he regards Jaemin. The younger boy's hair is ruffled, results of long, slender fingers stuffing themselves in silky strands caused by stress of—you guessed it—late night cramming. The other male has glasses resting atop his nose. They're slightly slipping, and they cast light shadows over his face in the dim lighting of Jeno's bedroom. Jeno has to take a moment to regain his senses (having a very beautiful Na Jaemin in front of you can do wonders). He hums in reply.

"No, I'm tired." Jaemin rubs his eyes, trying to thumb the soreness out of them from so much reading. When Jaemin opens them again, Jeno can see sparkles. To other people, it would only look like the slightest glimmer, but in the perfect lighting, they look absolutely breathtaking; almost as if the stars would rather rest in his eyes rather than up in the sky _(he's so fucking whipped,_  Jeno can almost hear Donghyuck say, although Jeno thinks Donghyuck has no right considering the way he acts around Mark. Jeno mentally scoffs).

Jaemin uses that stupid nickname he had given Jeno only when he's half-unconscious or delirious and Jeno hates the pet name. He only hates it because it makes him soft. Nobody makes Lee Jeno soft. With that in mind, Jeno thinks it's time to stop studying.

They have their last test tomorrow, and then they can relax since the first semester break comes right after. Jaemin is sure his scores will come out great. He's got a good grasp on all the subjects taught. He's not as smart as Jeno, though. Jeno's good at everything. Jaemin promptly sighs. 

Although Jaemin thinks he'll pass all his tests with flying colors, he can't get ahead of himself. Despite acting like he's got this in the bag and that he's  _totally_ confident he'll do this easily, he's actually not. Which is why Jaemin still studies his ass off. This might be surprising, but frankly, Jaemin doesn't want to grow up to be a bum on the streets.

Jeno softly closes Jaemin's book. He ruffles his hair. Jaemin lets out a huff. 

"That's enough for today," Jeno hums. "You'll be fine. You get A's most of the time, anyway. I don't know why you're so anxious."

"Fuck you, you get A's without even studying, prick," Jaemin grumbles. Jeno laughs. The way Jaemin cusses is amusing. At the sound of velvety laughter, Jaemin scoffs. "Yes, just chuckle at my anguish, Lee. I don't mind."

"There's something called actually paying attention in class. You should try it sometime."

Jaemin doesn't say anything back, just slams his back down on the matress from his sitting position, now lying on the bed with crossed legs, knees touching Jeno's. 

A beat of silence.

More silence.

_"This isn't comfortable."_

 

 

 

 

It's currently eight o'clock at night. Theoretically, it's too early to go to bed, and yet the boys don't have an idea on what to do. Despite this, Jaemin's not going to go to sleep. Jaemin functions best with seven hours of sleep. Any more, he's a zombie. Any less, he's a zombie. That's just how Jaemin works. Jeno doesn't mind. Although Jeno knows that Jaemin won't sleep so early in the night, he still asks, "Do you want to, like, sleep?" 

It's not like they haven't done this before. They always do this whenever tests get too close for comfort. However, this feels a bit more intimate than other times. Usually, they study with the rest (read: Donghyuck, Mark, Chenle, Renjun, Jisung). Today, though, it's just the two of them. They're on Jeno's bed, in the dim lighting—

Jaemin needs to keep his thoughts in check, that's for sure. There's nothing romantic about this. They're simply studying. Yes, studying, Na Jaemin. Studying.

"What are you, five? Name one person our age that sleeps at seven o'clock, Jeno. Let's just watch a movie. Call Chenle and Renjun over, or something. We can be third-wheelers together," Jaemin says as if the thought of being a third-wheeler is fun. Jeno sighs, but he can never say no to Jaemin. "Fine, call them over. I'll get, like, popcorn ready. You choose the movie." Jaemin nods curtly and pulls his phone out. He proceeds to text Chenle.

 

**iamnana**

yo do u want to uh

watch a movie

w me and jeno

 

**spawn of satan <3**

hm idk what's in it for me

what if i'm busy

i'm a very busy man

 

**iamnana**

thats bullshit

we all know uve got nothing planned lele

 

**spawn of satan <3**

shut up what if i actually had smth come up 

i could've had homework

or like a ten page paper to write

asshole

 

**iamnana**

ure always bitching about it if u actually do

u wanna watch the damn movie or not

 

**spawn of satan <3**

mm idk 

cmon dude i thot you were like persuasive or smth

work your magic

 

**iamnana**

bring renjun

 

**spawn of satan <3**

k be there in 5

 

"Asshole," Jaemin mutters affectionately. Yes, the ways in which Jaemin shows affection are very peculiar, but we all are at least vaguely aware of that. Jaemin ponders on what to watch, before, _ding,_  an idea pops inside his very smart mind; Johnny English. 

 _What is Johnny English, you ask?_ Jaemin's mind quips, as if somebody actually asked. His head tilts cockily, eyebrow raising almost instinctively. A smirk upturns the corners of his lips, as if challenging whatever person doesn't know what Johnny English is. 

 _That movie with Mr. Bean, my childhood hero; Superman who?_  Jaemin laughs at his own humor, finding himself unbelievably funny, head shaking as he slightly giggles.

"Na, I think it's about time I send you to the mental institute," Jeno says from the doorway to their kitchen. In his hands is a bowl of microwaved popcorn. Jaemin calms himself, awkwardly clearing his throat. He stands up, dusting imaginary dirt off his pants sheepishly. He walks to his bag and pulls out his hard disc. He plugs the cable connected to his hard disc into their TV that is conveniently placed on the wall in front of their beds. It's smack dab in the middle, perfect for both of their viewing and proceeds to click on Johnny English with the remote, leaving it on pause at the beginning.

"You saw nothing."

"Sure." Jeno nods. His back is facing towards him as he does something with the popcorn on the kitchen counter, probably adding salt to it.

Jaemin nods as well. A second later, both their heads snap toward the direction of their door, hearing maniacal, but familiar, laughter reverberating through the halls of their apartment complex as the sound bounces through the thin walls of their shitty room.

Loud, dolphin like laughter; an authentic indication that Zhong Chenle is near, and with Chenle usually comes Huang Renjun. Both, admittedly, polar opposites, yet they get along surprisingly well.

Where Chenle has blond hair, Renjun has dark hair. Chenle is loud, Renjun is fairly quiet. Chenle is bubbly and wouldn't even think of hurting a fly, whereas Renjun would most likely set the whole fucking planet on fire if he could—but hey, basically Yin and Yang, right? They balance each other out, and Jeno finds it unbelievably endearing.

"Hello! We have arrived!" Chenle says with a big smile, dramatic as ever. The door flies open with their arrival. Renjun gives a wave, slightly enthusiastic. "What are we watching?" Chenle asks in one breath. He looks around the place as if it's his first time being here. "Johnny English."

Jeno audibly groans. "Nana, we've watched that together a million times. Why don't we try and watch Superman Returns? I watched it before but I forgot what happens," Jeno asks. Jaemin so badly wants to say no, because who doesn't want to watch Johnny English? But Jeno's pouting, and Jaemin would be damned to say no to a very perfect Lee Jeno. Jaemin huffs a 'fine', albeit reluctantly. 

The shorter boy cheers, climbing on to Jaemin's bed as Chenle does the same. Renjun shrugs, turning to Jaemin and says, "Guess I'm sitting with you." Jaemin smiles and drags Renjun onto Jeno's bed (why didn't Jeno sit on his own damn bed?).

Jaemin walks to the TV and unplugs his flash disc. He signs into his Netflix account and chooses Superman Returns. Everything goes well. Jaemin doesn't understand most of it since he's basically abandoning his beloved Johnny English. Yeah, he's pretty salty. Sue him.

Coming to the end of the movie, Jaemin gets slightly pissed with how illogical it seems.

"How, in heaven's name, did he survive that fall? I mean, yeah, he's stronger than the average human even without his powers, but goddammit, he was falling for a good three seconds! Nobody would survive that! the impact with the water would've broken his back or something!"

Renjun lets out a sudden cackle at his irritation, finding the situation amusing.

"Fucking idiot," Jaemin grumbles. He takes his sweater off and throws it at the screen of his TV, before sheepishly walking toward the TV and retrieving his sweater, because frankly, it's cold.

Jaemin keeps on grumbling his dislike towards the movie. He earns snickers from the three other people in the room and when the movie's finally over, Jaemin is completely pissed. Not the serious kind of pissed, but the 'what-the-fuck-did-I-just-waste-my-time-on' kind of pissed.

Jaemin hears Chenle yawn and only then does he realise how late it is. "It's past my bedtime," the sixteen year old says. He rubs his eyes before he opens them again, vision no doubt bleary. Jaemin gasps, cackling right after. "Little Chenle has a _bedtime_ ," he drawls out. "Isn't that adorable."

"Shut up, at least I'm a responsible child. Unlike whatever prehistoric being you are." Chenle waves him off with a grimace. Chenle may not want to hurt a fly, but apparently that's not the same case when the fly comes in the form of a certain Na Jaemin. Jaemin gasps. He places a hand on his chest for added dramatic effect and would have replied with a just-as-nasty comment, but then Jeno speaks up.

"You guys can stay the night." Jeno speaks for the first time in about two hours. "Just sleep on my bed. It's way too late to go home."

"I want to sleep with Renjun." Chenle bounds over to where Renjun and Jaemin are currently sitting and pounces on the older male. He's slightly pouting as he wraps his arms around Renjun's torso, face smushed into the man's side. "Shoo," He tells Jaemin, adding a little adorable cackle at the end.

As Jaemin climbs off the bed, Renjun swats Chenle's hands away ("I shall not be manhandled," to which Chenle giggled at) and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, a short male trailing behind him. "Hyung, wait," said male whines. If you're wondering, no, Renjun and Chenle aren't going to use Jeno and Jaemin's toothbrushes. That would be disgusting, like, actually super fucking rank. No, nothing like that. They bought five additional toothbrushes because they usually hang out at their place and often stay the night. They're very hygienic kids.

"Come on, we should brush our teeth too," Jaemin says. He slaps Jeno on the thigh for good measure. The aforementioned male rubs the spot on his upper thigh with a role of his eyes, though the smile gives it away. When they're all clean and ready for bed, Jaemin climbs onto the mattress facing Jeno. His cheeky smile is on full display.

It's not rare for them to chat before bed, although sometimes 'chat' wouldn't be the right term. The longest amount of time they've spent talking to each other had been four full hours, speaking about everything and yet nothing at the same time. Jaemin has no regrets.

Everybody in their friendship circle are extremely close to each other, sometimes alarmingly so, like Jeno and Jaemin themselves. It's not surprising when they hear Chenle and Renjun whisper to each other almost immediately after they get comfortable on Jeno's bed. Both Chenle and Renjun laugh at something they had said, and Jaemin thanks god Chenle's laugh is a soft one; the one that makes people want to melt into a puddle.

"Good night, honey," Jaemin teases. He gives Jeno an Eskimo kiss just because he wants to. Jeno swats at the space between his face and Jaemin's, effectively stopping the male from trying anything ambiguous. "Fuck off." Jeno grimaces. "No good night kiss?" Jaemin swoops down and presses his lips on the tip of Jeno's nose jokingly. Jeno, despite everything, laughs lightly. "You're disgusting. Good night," he says with a smile as he turns away from Jaemin.

Jaemin doesn't sleep, though.

Nobody knows, but Jaemin is actually very, very gay for a certain Lee Jeno. Originally, Jaemin thought it would be okay. He thought it would be easy, like a piece of cake. But after a while, it got progressively harder, because isn't Jeno just so irresistible? Jaemin doesn't know how he's managed to keep all his gay feelings to himself for the past four months. It was incredibly hard for him to not vent to Chenle or Mark about this. They would surely understand with the least questions asked.

At first, being in love with Jeno was child's play. Nothing changed, it was just that Jaemin now had a name for the niggling feelings his stomach conjured as Jeno's twinkly laughter filled the room. They spend every minute of every day together, attached at the hip with unrelenting smiles. What could  _possibly_ go wrong?

Well, I'll tell you what could go wrong. 

You see, as the days go by, Jaemin has been finding it very hard to not kiss Jeno silly every time he wakes up in the morning, all pouty faces and swollen eyes. Jaemin has had _extreme_ difficulty in not folding Jeno up and putting him in his pocket everytime Jeno shoves the wrong end of his toothbrush in his mouth and everytime Jeno puts—instead of shampoo—body soap on his hair from how cloudy his mind is when he wakes up.

In conclusion, a sleepy Jeno is a soft Jeno. In another conclusion, Jaemin is very, very whipped and can possibly combust from the amount of compartmentalisation he's doing. At this point, Jaemin wouldn't be surpised if, on his gravestone, the words ' _death by Lee Jeno'_ would be engraved.

The possibility of Jaemin combusting on the spot as he watches Jeno's (very muscular) back shift as he breathes in is very high, but even so, he finds comfort in the hushed whispers and laughter coming from his two short friends a bed away. He finds comfort in the sound of Jeno's deep breathing. He finds comfort in the distant sound of grasshoppers chirping without a care in the world.

Sleep finds him easily.

 

 

 

 

Jaemin is very upset. 

Who knew, who _fucking_ knew, that at the last class—the only class he shares with Jeno—for the day, his spot would be taken.

Usually, if his spot was taken, he would just go about his day like any other. He could always sit  _behind_ Jeno _._ it would damn well take more than not sitting next to each other to draw Jeno and Jaemin apart but,  _oh,_ this was really pushing it. Jaemin's usual spot next to Jeno was taken not by just  _anybody,_ it was taken by Jessica Kim. 

Jessica Kim; school heartthrob. Lives and breathes off of high knee socks and short skirts. She has hazel eyes, and the fact that she's half American might explain why she lacks a filter or two. Her long brown hair cascades down to her waist, and she is, admittedly, pretty. Even Jaemin, gayest being to ever walk the earth, knows that. Everybody does.

Which is why Jaemin is ticked off. Usually, someone would be sitting in his spot because Jeno is just too nice; wouldn't have the guts to tell anybody off, and Jaemin's fine with that. Now though, Jaemin knows that's not the case.

Jessica is quite literally clinging onto Jeno's arm, smiling sickeningly sweet. Her lips are moving. She's saying something Jaemin can't quite catch. Jaemin would've shrugged it off any other day, yet the small smile Jeno's sporting on his face as he looks at her tempts Jaemin to just fuck that and raise absolute  _hell_  on earth.

It's painfully obvious they're dating. The real question is,  _how?_ Sure, Jeno is very popular (quite the striking contrast to Jaemin), and girls and guys alike flock toward him like moths drawn to a flame. He never imagined Jeno would date Jessica Kim, though. Prior to this day, the two never showed any interest toward each other.

Despite the thoughts rushing throughout Jaemin's mind, he strolls over to stand in front of Jeno's desk. He slaps his hand on it loudly. Both their heads snap toward him, though Jessica looks like she couldn't give a damn whether Jaemin was there or not as she proceeds to run her hands all over Jeno. It was as if she was trying to make a statement. "Who's your friend?" Jaemin nods his head toward Jessica's direction, indicating she's the 'friend' he's talking about.

"This is Jessica." Jeno beams. His eye smile is on full display.

_Painfully beautiful._

"I asked her out after lunch."

So, fine, Jaemin will go through the whole lesson sitting behind Jeno, a beautiful (Jaemin gags) display of PDA _right in front of his salad_. Giggles and flirtatious tones were shared and it's a wonder Jaemin didn't pull a Van Gogh right then and there. He hated every second of it. He just couldn't wait until he could go home and sleep. 

Jaemin slightly laughs as he sees that the teacher isn't even awake enough to realise he'd recited the same line twice. He decides neither of them are enjoying this. Half an hour later and the bell rings. Jaemin shoots up from his seat and sends a nod over to Jeno, some form of a bid goodbye as he doesn't exactly know what Jeno's planning to do with his new girlfriend, and it'd be a cold day in hell before he waits around to find out.

He walks the hallways, almost crying out in relief as he spots a familiar mop of hair. "Jisung! Hey, walk with me." Jaemin puts his hand around Jisung's broad shoulders.

"What's up?"

Jaemin ventures the hallways with the younger boy. He's excited to get to his shared room with Jeno and just shower his problems away.

"Jeno's got a girlfriend. Can't say I like her very much."

"Why?"

"I just don't."

"I know." Jisung nods.

"You know?"

"I know."

Jaemin can't tell what Jisung knows. He decides to stay silent.

 

 

 

 

It's a pretty morning, Jaemin decides as he looks out of the small window on the wall beside his bed. The skies are grey, the rain is falling. The heavens are sad, weeping tear drops that fall loudly on the glass pane separating him and the rest of the world. In Jaemin's book, this is a pretty morning.

Some might call him a misanthrope. They're not entirely wrong, but not entirely right either. One of the people who call him a misanthrope is Donghyuck, who he had invited earlier. Jaemin's certainly not going to shower just because Donghyuck—and probably Mark as well—are coming over. He's feeling rather rebellious, or maybe just lazy. He's got raging morning breath, though, so he decides he'll at least brush his teeth. 

It's eight o'clock in the morning, although Jaemin prefers to call it ass o'clock. Theoretically, in Jaemin's mind, eight o'clock is the worst hour to be alive. Eight o'clock is the hour school starts on weekdays. Eight o'clock is the hour where the worst shows play on TV. Eight o'clock is the hour when you can't really tell whether the weather is hot or cold. Eight o'clock is the hour where his already shitty WiFi becomes even shittier.

It's also the hour Jeno takes off to see his girlfriend every Saturday morning. Not that Jaemin cares about that. Not at all.

They've been dating for about two weeks in total, but they are all over each other every second of every minute of every  _hour_ of the day. Jaemin hates it. He doesn't state that thought out loud.

Jeno has been taking her to the cafe that they used to frequent. Keyword: used. Other keyword: they.

It was their little hiding spot _,_ and theirs only. Unfortunately, it's not now. Not anymore. Jaemin used to call the place  _ours_ with so much steadiness and certainty in his voice. Jaemin doesn't know what happened to all that certainty. Maybe Jessica happened. He doesn't give a damn.

There would be nights where either Jaemin or Jeno couldn't sleep. Because of what, neither asked, but they always knew how to console one another without actually addressing the problem. They worked that way.  _They worked._ They weren't dysfunctional. None of their fights lasted more than a day.  _They worked._

When said sleepless nights came, one of them would offer to go the cafe two blocks down. It was late, they didn't care. It was cold, they didn't care. It was dark, they didn't care.

The barista was a nice man named Taeil. The person manning the cashier was a man named Doyoung. They were friends.

Doyoung often joked about how he was the sun to Taeil's moon, and the four of them would laugh because it was a joke. A bad joke, a dad joke, but a joke nonetheless. They would order something stupid like hot chocolate that they could easily get at the grocery store near where they lived, but Taeil made a mean hot chocolate and the both of them would be damned to miss out on it.

They would sit at their regular couch near the window. Jaemin always had a thing about looking at the bustling city life through the glass border. It made him feel disconnected to rest of humanity. Just him, Jeno, and Doyoung and Taeil's bickering. He liked it. He enjoyed it.  _A misanthrope,_ Jaemin could hear Donghyuck's voice in the back of his mind. He was always in there. Somewhere. Like a broken cassette tape. Jaemin didn't mind.

Doyoung had noticed how frequent the two boys went to the cafe, and decided to put a handwritten  _reserved_ sign on the table. They went there often. More often than Jaemin or Jeno would have liked to admit. Because of that, Doyoung might have grown a soft, squishy Jeno and Jaemin sized spot in his heart (he also has one for his best friend, Taeil).

The two boys had grown so fond of that particular spot that they decided to carve _JxJ_ on the wooden tabletop. Doyoung didn't mind. Taeil didn't mind either. It used to stand for _JenoxJaemin,_ but that was the past. Jaemin guesses it stands for _JenoxJessica_ , now.

Jaemin's daydream-like stance is interrupted by five curt knocks on the door.  _Classic Mark._ Jaemin realised that in the midst of his reminiscing, he had forgotten to brush his teeth. To hell with it, anyway. Still wrapped up in his blanket, Jaemin saunters over to open the door. 

"You look like ass."

"Thanks very much."

"Why invite me over when you don't even look like you would make good company?" Donghyuck pouts.

"Because it's me who needs the company. Not you."

"There's this thing called a Jeno."

"He left me for his girlfriend," Jaemin announces miserably as he walked over to his bed. He plops down onto it face first.

Mark squints in thought. "Aren't you his girlfriend, though?"

Jaemin lifts his head from the soft duvet. "Lee Minhyung," He deadpans as a warning. Mark raises his hands in surrender. Jaemin offers them some breakfast, and they don't say no. He has bacon, he has eggs, and he has pancake batter. Cook that up, and  _voila;_ breakfast.

They eat together. Jaemin eats on his bed, and Mark and Donghyuck eat on Jeno's bed. Jaemin tells them it's okay. It isn't clean, but it's okay. They'll probably get crumbs all over the poor boy's bed. Does Jaemin care? No, not really.

Then Donghyuck says, in the midst of chewing his eggs, "The atmosphere feels really gloomy in here. Did somebody die?" Jaemin ponders on that for a second. Nobody dies, except maybe Doyoung from exasperation when he sees Jeno walk into the cafe without Jaemin. And if Doyoung dies, Taeil would most likely die too. From shock, if not anything. He tells Donghyuck this.

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck and Mark to see the oldest chewing quickly, as if he wants to say something but can't because of the food. When he swallows, he says, "Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something bad is going to happen."

Donghyuck and Jaemin share a look, the kind of looks that parents usually share before saying at the same time,

"Fan-Fucking-Tastic."

"We need to get you away from those books."

 Mark shrugs. "Smart people problems."

 

 

 

 

Jeno's not home yet. It's been over twelve hours since he left and he's not home yet. Jeno always keeps him updated if plans don't go right, so Jaemin's a hairbreadth away from pulling at his brown locks. There were no texts. There were no calls. There were no voicemails.  _No nothing._

Jaemin decides that if Jeno isn't going to call him, he's going to call Jeno. Jeno doesn't answer the first, doesn't answer the fifth, doesn't answer the eighth, doesn't answer the fifteenth, and Jaemin gives up on the twenty-third. He decides to call Jisung instead.

"Hey, man. Have you heard from Jeno? He's been out all day. He's not picking up my calls."

_"Hey, dude. Sorry, I haven't heard anything. I'll try calling him, okay? I'll let you know if he picks up."_

Jaemin doesn't hear anything from Jisung. He calls Chenle, and Renjun. They didn't hear anything. Mark and Donghyuck didn't get any texts either. Jaemin sighs.

Should he file a missing person's report? Should he call his mom? Should he call _Jeno's_ mom?

He rationalises that filing a missing person's report would be way out of hand, and his mom is probably sleeping since it's ten o'clock at night. Jaemin doesn't want to bother Jeno's mom either. So he just waits. He waits, and waits, and waits. At half-past eleven, he starts pacing. It's dark, it's cold, it's dangerous. There's no trace of the sun, and the shitty lamp-posts outside don't help all that much. Did Jeno bring his coat? Jaemin doesn't know. Donghyuck and Mark have gone home already. School's been pretty rough on them, so he's going to leave them alone.

After five minutes of pacing, he hears the door jostle open. A breeze slips its way inside their room, along with it Lee Jeno. His hair is tussled, the wind no doubt  harsh and strong outside. 

"Jeno," Jaemin breathes out the second he sees him. "You worried me so much. Why didn't you tell me you would come home late?" He bounds over to where Jeno is standing and hugs the slightly shorter male, feeling the other man's stature lightly shaking from the cold. Jeno uses his foot to kick the door closed, wrapping his arms around Jaemin's small waist. He turns his head to rest his nose in the crook of the younger boys neck, breathing in deeply. Jaemin smells like home (yes, he showered). Jaemin smells like early spring mornings. Jaemin smells like freshly cut grass on a rainy day. Jaemin smells like the fresh scent of the running stream of water in the woods. 

Jaemin, feeling the older man in his arms, melts into Jeno's hold. They fit. In an odd way. The curves and crooks of their bodies slot perfectly against each other. Jaemin wonders if Jeno's held Jessica like this before. Tenderly. Carefully. His heart wrenches at the thought as his mind conjures an image of them close together, maybe even closer. Jaemin halts the thoughts in their tracks. He's not a masochist.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Jessica would keep me for that long."

"You could've called. Or texted! Whichever, Jeno, just don't do that ever again."

"I know, Jaemin. I know. She just gets upset easily."

"You didn't—you didn't do anything, did you?" Jaemin squints his eyes suspiciously although he knows Jeno can't see. It seems like he senses it though, if the arms wrapping tighter around Jaemin's waist are anything to go by. He feels Jeno breathe on his neck, little puffs of air, and Jaemin realises that Jeno's chuckling.

"I'm underage, Nana."

"Doesn't stop other people from doing it."

"You mean having sex?"

He makes a face, a grimace like thing, and steps away from Jeno's hold. He lightly punches him on the shoulder. If Jeno says it, it makes it seem all too real. That Jeno might actually do that with Jessica. Jaemin involuntarily shudders at the thought.

"Don't be so blunt."

"It's okay for us to say it, you know. We're not ten year old kids."

"Technically, we are kids."

"Oh, hush," Jeno says as he brings Jaemin back into his arms. Jeno's slightly shorter than Jaemin, but it feels like Jeno towers over him. He has that effect on people, Jaemin guesses.

"Have you eaten?" Jaemin asks in lieu of conversation. Jeno shushes him yet again, saying, "You're warm." He steers out of Jeno's embrace because of the statement, and instead pushes Jeno in the direction of their bathroom. "Go have a warm shower."

"Jae?"

Jaemin hums.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

Jaemin blubbers, but then quickly recovers, muttering a, "Why?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said you were warm."

The taller of the two rolls his eyes affectionately. He pushes Jeno further into the bathroom.

"I don't think—"

"You're my friend. It's not weird."

"Sure, it isn't." He sighs.

Jeno pouts. A very cute action indeed. "Cmon, Na. It's cold," He says. He wraps his arms around himself to emphasise.

Jaemin crosses his arms. He shifts his weight onto one leg, sighing, knowing he'd already lost this argument. Not that it was much of an argument in the first place. "If your sorry ass gets in trouble with your girlfriend for this, I'm not sorry," Jaemin says, tapping his foot rhythmically. It's a habit. He probably looks like such a mother.

He eyes Jeno, who has a cheek splitting grin on his face. Jaemin can't even see his eyes anymore.

"Neither am I." 

So Jaemin slips into his bed while Jeno showers. He makes sure the blanket covers his whole body. It really is cold. He listens to the distant sound of rushing water hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. It's sort of calming, in a way. A sort of reassurance that Jeno is there. Jeno's with him.

It's actually quite embarrassing. Jaemin used to believe he would be independent. He wouldn't base his decisions off of one sole person. He didn't revolve around anybody. At least, that's what Jaemin thought he would be when he signed up for highschool.

He was casually sitting in his seat. He always liked the ones next to the window. He didn't have friends, not really. Jaemin wasn't popular, not even close. He just sort of existed. You know those kids that are just there? Jaemin was one of them.

Just as the teacher was about to start yapping away, a boy suddenly bursted into the room. His hair was slightly disheveled, his clothes were messy, and the sleeve of his bag was slightly slipping. He apologised to the woman, nodding politely. Manners. Jaemin decided the guy's alright.

His dark hazel eyes danced around the room, looking like he was searching for an empty spot. There were other unoccupied seats in the room, maybe about three in total. Jaemin didn't expect him to pick the seat beside Jaemin, so he just looked outside the window. He was pretty good at feigning disinterest.

Jaemin was pleasantly surprised though, when he heard a low, "Hey," beside him. "Hey," he said back. He figured he'd be polite. 

The guy didn't look like he could do any harm. "You seem pretty bored," the other boy says. Jaemin shrugs. "It's the first day of school. Why wouldn't I be bored?" His face showed a look of pure disinterest. The guy laughed.

"You could, like, meet your friends, and make new ones. Isn't that exciting?" Jaemin suppressed the urge to roll his eyes because overzealous highschool kids were never his cup of tea. When he realised he was asked a question, he shook his head 'no'. "One, I don't have friends. Two, I don't make friends."

The other guy looked slightly flustered. Maybe he wasn't expecting Jaemin to be such a hard nut to crack. "Hey, I mean," he paused. "I could be your friend."

This guy's weird, but Jaemin oddly liked it. He didn't say anything, and Jaemin guessed the other boy took it as a sign to continue. He offered his hand and Jaemin just kind of weirdly looked at it before Jeno said, with a kind of laugh, "I'm Jeno." His arm just sort of dangled awkwardly in mid air, before the other boy, Jeno, waved it slightly, just to remind Jaemin that he hadn't actually accepted his offer of a handshake.

"Jaemin," He said, taking Jeno's hand and weakly shaking it.

"Your name's Jaemin?"

"Yeah."

"Nice. It's nice."

"It's not. Not really."

"Can I call you Jae? Or Min? Minnie?"

Jaemin actually rolled his eyes this time, though his lips didn't seem to be cooperating with his "don't touch me"-esque aura, if you take the way they slightly twitched at the ends into account. He let out a laugh, something Jeno hugely appreciated since it stopped the slight tension from settling in the air.

"Jae? Fine. Min? Maybe. Minnie? Definitely not."

Jaemin is curtly pulled out of his daydream like state when he hears the loud click of the bathroom door unlocking, showing a glorious Lee Jeno in his wake. "Hey, there." Jeno ruffles his wet hair with the small towel, walking into their room. He stares at Jaemin who is already wrapped up in his blanket. "Hey," Jaemin greets back. "Come on in into my humble and awaiting arms," he says, stretching his arms out as invitation. Jeno laughs, not refusing.

"You're really nice, you know, Jaemin?" Jeno says quite abruptly after he's settled into the bed. Jaemin blubbers, not expecting the sudden confession. "I, uh," he starts intelligently. "Thanks?" he mutters. He feels more than sees Jeno nod.

Jaemin's currently being spooned by Jeno, his head comfortably cushioned on Jeno's shoulder. Their feet are tangled, which isn't a strange occurrence. They often sleep together. It provides comfort on days where sleep doesn't come easily, which is, admittedly, quite often.

"Is this comfortable for you?" Jaemin asks, because he's damn comfortable himself. "Yeah," he rasps. "Yeah, I am." He's slightly tense—which Jeno himself doesn't even realise—so Jaemin grabs his hand and starts rubbing comforting circles into them. He immediately melts against his body.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"Well, I am."

"Jeno," he says, stern. Jeno knows once he uses that tone, there's really no convincing him otherwise. He lets out a sigh. "I'm just tired, I guess. She's needy, but she's nice. Cute, too. I just wish her voice was a little deeper, you know? It's very high pitched. Not very soothing." Jaemin frowns, then turns to face Jeno.

"Please don't go through with it if you're not happy."

"I know, I know." There's a slight pause. "I just don't know what I was thinking when I asked her out." Jeno nods to himself. "Listen, I don't want you to regret anything. If you feel like you're not a hundred percent happy, then don't go through with it. You shouldn't be in a relationship you don't even want to be a part of, yeah?"

He smiles. "Yeah, Min."

Jaemin sighs. Why did he ever agree on being friends with this idiot? "If you weren't so emotionally constipated this would be much easier for you." Though what Jaemin said was meant to scold, his actions don't match his words as he nuzzles into the crook of Jeno's neck.

Jaemin knows what they're doing shouldn't be done. Jeno's in a relationship, so they should put some distance in between them when it comes to things like this, but Jeno has never showed reluctance in showering Jaemin with affection. Call Jaemin selfish, but he wasn't going to put that distance into play. Not right now. Maybe later, but not now.

 

 

 

 

"Dammit, Mark, come on, that's just not fair! You know I've thrown up on a teacher before!" Donghyuck wails as he picks up a shot glass and downs it in one go. He scrunches his face up slightly at the sour taste.

They're not drinking alcohol, they're actually drinking apple juice. Since they're minors and they wanted to play 'never have I ever', they needed something to drink that wasn't alcoholic, and they thought apple juice was the perfect substitute, since it's family friendly, and all. Mark could've drunk alcohol, but the fact that Jisung wouldn't let him and that they're actually super broke just didn't make it seem possible.

Plus, apple juice kind of looks like alcohol. 

("Let's drink this vodka down the hatch," Chenle had once said when he had to drink.

"Apple juice doesn't even look like vodka," Jisung pointed out.

"What would you know? You're, like, five," Renjun responded.

"Excuse you, I'm actually sixteen."

"Your point is?")

They start with five shot glasses, and anybody who runs out has to do a dare. "Where'd you get these shot glasses anyway?" Donghyuck asks after he's done grimacing. "I wanted to drink out of these," Jeno lifts a shot glass to emphasise, "When I'm already legal, but this seems like a good way to put it to use." He shrugs.

"My turn," Chenle suddenly quips. "Never have I ever been interested in a girl," he says with a cheeky smile. Jeno and Jisung drink, while Chenle mutters a "damn". Jaemin quirks an eyebrow in his direction, a sort of unspoken question. " I wanted Junnie to drink." He pouts. Renjun rolls his eyes. "You know I'm not interested in girls."

Chenle splutters, before spitting out, "I mean, there could've been a moment in time when you weren't gay or when you just sort of assumed you were straight, right?"

"Nope. Straight as a circle from the day I was born."

"That's no fun."

"Life's a bitch."

Chenle pouts some more, but rests his hand on Renjun's thigh to show he's not genuinely sad. "You guys are disgusting," Jaemin bellows from where he's seated next to Jeno.

Now Chenle rolls his eyes. "You sure are one to talk." Jaemin frowns but doesn't say anything.

Recently, Jaemin has had to cope with his steadily declining mental health, and if he had school, he would also probably have to cope with his steadily declining grades. Falling in love with your best friend but then having said best friend fall for someone else isn't exactly delighting, in Jaemin's opinion. Even so, is Jaemin going to tell anybody about it? No, no he isn't. Jeno is dating, and the fact that he's happy should be enough for Jaemin, but for some reason, it bothers him.

A few more of them drink until Jeno runs out of shots, and just as Donghyuck's about to give him a dare, they hear a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Chenle pops up, heading toward the door. "Hello," they hear Chenle's drowned out voice say. "Oh, uh," Chenle mutters, glancing towards them. He looks uncomfortable. "Jeno," he calls. Chenle hurries back to them as Jeno walks toward the door. As Chenle sits back down, he places himself next to Renjun, who in turn curls a rather protective arm around the smaller boy's waist. If Jaemin notices, he doesn't say anything.

A sigh.

"What are you doing here, Jessica—" His voice cuts off as the door closes. A silence falls between the remaining people in the room. Quite an uncomfortable one.

"Maybe we should get going," Mark offers. Everyone mutters their agreements. The atmosphere suddenly turns very dull and glum. "Let us know when Jeno gets back. We all know how Jessica is with keeping him for as long as possible."

They get the shot glasses cleaned up and in the sink before they all bid each other goodbye as Jaemin shuts the door.

Jaemin feels a sinking feeling inside his gut, but chooses to ignore it. Everything's fine.

 

 

 

 

Everything is certainly not fine. Jeno's been gone for four hours. He doesn't even have his fucking wallet. How long can a guy go in public without his wallet?

Jaemin is currently hunched over his bathroom sink, knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping it. Tears are streaming out of his eyes, like a waterfall that failed to be contained. Everything seems like it's crashing down on him, all at once. It feels like his lungs are caving in on themselves, and the tears just won't stop.

He lifts his hands in a feeble attempt to wipe the tears, but his efforts are fruitless. "Fucking get a grip, Na Jaemin. Come on," he says to himself, trying to calm down. During this, he doesn't realise the front door opening. What he does notice, though, is the _bathroom_ door opening.

"Jaemin?" Jeno's worried voice fills his ears. He perks up, straightening his back and looking away, acting like he was checking the walls out. "Yeah, hey." He sounds like he just cried, even to himself. "What's wrong?" Jeno takes long strides over to him, reaching Jaemin in no time.

"Fuck, have you been crying?"

"No," Jaemin hisses, slapping Jeno's hands away from him. It was a blatant lie, Jaemin knows that. Jeno reluctantly pulls his  hands toward himself. "Did I do something wrong?" 

"You did nothing wrong, Jeno." Jaemin looks at him with eyes that are heavily guarded before walking past him and making his way into their room. He sits down on his bed, not really knowing what to do.

"Jaemin, you know you can tell me anything."

"Yes, I do, Jeno."

"So tell me."

"Seriously, leave it alone."

"No, Jaemin. Just fucking tell me—"

"Give it a rest, Jeno! I'm not playing around."

"Neither am I! Tell me what's bothering you, goddammit!"

"Okay! Fine!"

A pause.

"If our friendship goes down the drain because of this," Jaemin's lower lip trembles as he speaks, "It's your fault." His words send a shiver down Jeno's spine. 

Jaemin takes a deep breath before speaking, knowing he's seriously fucked things up. "I'm in love with you, and I've been in love with you for a year. I'm sorry, Jeno. I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend for you. I'm sorry I couldn't fully support you when you were with Jessica, and I'm sorry that I'm adding all this additional stress when you've already got so much on your plate. If you hate me, that's okay. If you want me to move out, that's okay. If you never want to see my face again, that's okay too. But, Jeno, I love you so damn much, words cannot even begin to describe my feelings for you."

Jaemin now had tears in his eyes, once again. It broke Jeno's heart. It hurt to see him so defenseless and broken. It also hurt because why would Jaemin ever think Jeno could hate him? He couldn't even comprehend the thought.

The next thing Jaemin knows, he's being pushed onto the soft mattress of his bed, and his lips meet Jeno's. It's breathtaking, and incredibly soft. They maneuver and move so perfectly against each other, Jaemin can't find himself to resist. Jeno kisses him so sweetly, had he not been lying down, his legs surely would've buckled underneath him. Jaemin sighs into Jeno's mouth, tilting his head to get more of whatever Jeno can offer. His hands twist themselves into Jeno's silky black strands.

Jaemin's buzzing with pleasure and euphoria, and he's hyper aware of the other boy's hands on his waist. When Jeno tightens his grip slightly, though, it brings him back from whatever trance he was in.

"What the fuck are you doing, Jeno? This isn't—"

"I broke up with her. When I came home late, it was because I broke up with her."

A beat of silence. A shaky intake of breath.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"You seemed tired and stressed, it seemed selfish to vent about my failed relationship when it was already so late. I do realise that now, if I had told you, this wouldn't have happened. Yet, I can't decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing." Jeno's breath ghosts over his lips and it sends an involuntary shiver down his spine.

"I don't understand," he whispers.

"I came home late because she was really upset. She wouldn't stop crying and leaving her there seemed like an asshole move. I always knew there was something missing whenever I was with her. It's like I always had it, but I was straying from it by dating her. I wasn't stupid enough to keep going with it when I knew I would never love her. You know why?"

Jaemin shakes his head wordlessly, overwhelmed and pliant.

"Because I'm in love with you, I just didn't know it."

"Lee Jeno, you better not be messing with me. This really isn't funny."

Jeno shuts him up with a peck to ease his worries. He kisses him on the forehead, the tip of his nose, the apples of his cheeks, before finally settling on his lips. 

"I wouldn't even think of it."

"Fuck, I love you."

Jeno smiles, a silent 'I love you, too' lingering in the air. "I don't think I'd mind much if our friendship goes down the drain."

"I don't think I'd mind either."

And their lips connect again, and again, and again.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> mk so that took longer than expected but it's ok cuz baby steps aight baby steps
> 
> i guess that's all i can say lmao, hope you enjoyed it tho <3


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